A few weeks ago I had an intense study day preparing for my progression Viva. As some light relief at lunch time, I decided to check out the local children’s playground. To my delight a new roundabout had been installed. Since the playground was empty I decided to try it out. To my puzzlement and frustration, every time I got to the apex, I flew off and rolled onto the ground. This happened even after three or four attempts. On closer inspection I realised that the roundabout was on an angle (why I have no idea) and is actually tricky to stay on, you have to hold on really tight. I have not managed it yet.
Why am I sharing this? The PhD has felt rather like an unbalanced roundabout ride over the past weeks. I cling on, thrilling at the speed and then keep falling off at the top. There have been some very big highs over the last month, I survived the progression Viva, using newly acquired vocal -speech coaching techniques. I managed to try and explain what it is I am doing, including how improvised music might be useful to reveal unconscious processes (a tricky one to explain in words). I completed a very long report, which took hours of working away at writing skills with a dyslexia tutor. I presented a poster at a national conference, and was overwhelmed with the amount of interest in my study, where I definitely suffered from the classic ‘impostor’ syndrome. In between these dizzying heights, I kept rolling off the roundabout and wondering where I was, but thankfully there is a nice, soft grassy landing and time to keep getting back on. I am determined to conquer the puzzle of the ’roundabout’.
It occurs to me doing a PhD is also a little bit like this:
The Magic Roundabout Swindon – which I have to negotiate on a regular basis. Apparently the best technique is just to drive forwards whatever is in front of you.
Or maybe a PhD is like this?
The Magic Roundabout …
Only time will tell!